I am abstinent by the grace of God, one more day at a time.  For details, check out my food journal.


From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

“It is weakness, not strength, that binds us to each other and to a Higher Power and somehow gives us the ability to do what we cannot do alone.”   — Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition, p. 5

I am grateful for a program fellowship that accepts me as I am, and for a Higher Power who actually sought me out and bought me in my worst possible condition.  I could no more earn this kind of relationship than I could stop my own compulsive eating!  It is nice to know that I can go through days like yesterday, when “inspired” doesn’t exactly describe me, but that I can express myself and live the truth about myself and still be accepted.  When I interacted with people yesterday, I didn’t have to put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy though I wasn’t.  I could honestly answer folks who asked, that I was having a gloomy day, but that I was confident it was merely a passing emotional storm.  I shared honestly in my devotional journal that the “bear” seemed to be gaining on me if it wasn’t already mauling my backside.  I was comfortable sharing honestly with those who follow along, because I know I am no one’s higher power, and that fellows can only relate to me because I am imperfect.

In John 15, Christ calls Himself “the Vine” and His followers the “branches.”  I am grateful to be so intertwined with the lives around me that they can help support my burdens when my growth is taking a turn and I feel weak.  I am equally grateful for the opportunity to relate to others similarly burdened, who represent opportunities for me to serve.  In lifting one another up, we all grow stronger and more fruitful!  In fact, that same chapter of John warns that any branch isolated withers and dies.  While His primary point was that we should remain connected to Him, it is noteworthy that he did not choose cornstalks or pine trees as His metaphor.  The Vine’s branches, by their very nature, roll and twist together, blooming and yielding their fruit in community as one.

From Proverbs Chapter 18:

1 An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.

Here’s a powerful picture!  My spirit is still occupied with the image of the Vine and branches.  This verse demonstrates the complete unreasonableness of the vain person who prefers isolation to community – “an unfriendly man.”  He’s in it for what he can get out of it.  To the objective spectator, it seems obvious the harm he does to himself by trying to grow away from the bunch, all on his own, with no branches to help support him from underneath or shade him from above.  His entire being is exposed and alone.  He is easy prey for the scorching sun and damaging wind!  A goose flying alone doesn’t get far, but when each one rotates in concert through the proper formation, the gaggle can traverse great distances.  To go it alone does seem to defy all sound judgment!  Yet my destroyer keeps trying to get me alone.  No wonder!



From my reading through the Bible, currently in Job 3:

The Book of Job contains mysteries, many of which I am content to never understand.  One thing about this chapter for which I am grateful is its record of God’s model champion of faith breaking down into despair.  There are several instances of such Bible heroes despairing “even of death” or praying for deliverance from this life, but the instance of Job’s outcry seems to be an unanticipated irony given the confidence the Creator seemed to put in him when Satan came calling.  I can’t speak for all people or even all compulsive overeaters, but I know that I have personally experienced the emotional valley of the shadow of death revealed in Job’s question, “20 Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul…?”

One of the most humbling, and therefore growth-stimulating, experiences of my life was a time when I exhausted the limit of my faith and found that, even then, God was faithful!  Job never got to see God brag about him from His throne.  Neither we nor Job know of the accusations Satan was set to deliver after going in and out of the earth – those countless charges against mankind that were dismissed at God’s mention of Job’s name.  I may never know why my young daughter’s heart surgery had to go poorly before its successful outcome, but I know that God’s great hand extends farther than my spirit’s ability to trust.  I know that because I have despaired.  I know where “bottom” is because I have felt the great “bounce” off its surface, and am rising once again to the hands that lovingly fashioned me.  I know I share this knowledge with heroes like Job, because I read it in this chapter.

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “How it Works” page 60:

Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines.”


Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”  3 John 2