I am abstinent by the grace of God, one more day at a time.  Yesterday I learned that all cereal grains are not created equal.  I was all out of brown rice when it came time to eat my red beans, so I found an alternate grain to add to them: oat bran.  I do not recommend what I might call “Cajun bean gruel.”

Most of my food is prepared for my work week, which starts today.  At my sponsor’s suggestion, even the little things – almonds and prunes – are packed in individual pre-measured servings.

My focus word lately is “integrity,” and I am striving to live in the oneness implied by that word, aligned with God’s will and undivided, single-minded, and constantly devoted to His direction.  It has occurred to me that living in integrity requires intentionality.  Ambiguity divides and scatters.  Living intentionally is the only way to remain whole.  Duplicity is my enemy.  Gray is the color of indecision and it is where my disease lives!


From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

Allowing this new power to flow in constantly and consistently throughout this day, I see that cravings are not commands, and relapse is never inevitable.

The contributor, commenting on Step Three which reads, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him,” concluded that being powerless (the admission of Step One) ends when we turn our problems and deficiencies over to God, whose power is more than sufficient to meet them.  Whether I am a spectator or channel of His power, I am thrilled to have God actively in my life!  Following His guidance, it is hard not to identify cravings as mere distractions, if they come at all.  Any such become calls to prayer, and my inter-meal fast continues to connect me to a Power big enough to succeed.  “Relapse is never inevitable!”

From Proverbs Chapter 1:

32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them.

Surely death and destruction are the consequences of willful defiance, but the tone of these two phrases suggest sort of an ill-planned wandering – the “simple” straying away, and “complacency,” a false security or self-satisfaction of the foolish, ending with the same result.  This is the problem with my disease!  First it lies and tells me a little foot off the path won’t hurt.  Then it talks me into one more step. Eventually, it dopes me into thinking I haven’t left the path at all, and I become the simple fool that has been led astray in my quiet stupor.

The alternative is being intentional in all my ways: thinking, behaving, speaking, reflecting – seeking God’s power and direction, applying it to my every moment.


From my reading through the Bible, currently in Nehemiah 1:

I am really getting interested in the history around these books!  Nehemiah was once called the Second Book of Ezra.  The two lived at the same time, but Ezra was a priest and Nehemiah was a servant to the Persian king. Both of these men, along with Jeshua son of Jozadak, were great missionaries of restoration of Jerusalem: Jeshua, of the altar and Temple; Ezra of the Law; and Nehemiah of the wall of Jerusalem.

Here, we find Nehemiah, cupbearer to the king of Persia at the rebuilt Citadel of Susa, the new capital of the Persian Empire, praying that God would grant him favor in the eyes of the king.  He has just received report that the wall of Jerusalem is in ruins, and he has in mind the intentions to do something about it.  With weeping, fasting, mourning, and humble supplication, Nehemiah prayed, “11 O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today…

Creator and Great Restorer, You are my delight!  You are Jeshua of the temple of my spirit, Ezra of Your Law in my heart, and Nehemiah of my broken down walls.  Rebuild me and maintain me in Your design, Holy Father, and give your servant success today, in the name of Jeshua of Nazareth I pray.  Amen!

From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “The AA Tradition” page 561:

Therefore, no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity. We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.


Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”  3 John 2

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