I am abstinent by the grace of God, one more day at a time.



From Today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

Those who are prone to stuff themselves with food that makes their bodies unsightly are refusing the food that satisfies and soothes the unhappy soul within.” — Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition, p. 243

The contributor added, “I now see my Higher Power as a very personal and loving God, there to guide and direct me if I just open myself to Him and listen.

Wrath, vengeance, brimstone – these are a few of the words that represent “God” to a frustrated human.  It makes sense considering whatever is frustrating that human is likely causing him to wish he was a god so that he could rain down some wrath, vengeance and brimstone on what he perceives is the problem: everybody else.  Whatever my understanding of God is, I have to admit I do not have a full and complete picture of Him.  Accepting my limited understanding of the Orchestrator of the Universe helps me to accept what I learn about Him through prayer, Scripture, and meditation.  Even those with years of religious experience have to admit they can always learn more about an infinite God.  If my opinion of Him is marred by a misunderstanding, I cut myself off from the fullness of relationship with Him.  I admit that it is more likely that my perception is wrong than His nature, and I submit to Him the benefit of the doubt.  When I let go of those doubts, my relationship with Him is more secure, and I can breathe in His power for me to live today in His purpose and plan.

‘My food,’ said Jesus, ‘is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.’John 4:34

From Proverbs Chapter 13:

19 A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil.

That frustrated human described above, who keeps wishing fire would fall from heaven and consume his enemies, certain a just and fair god would agree and comply with his wishes, detests turning from such thinking.  I know, because I had the same thoughts torn away from me during Step Four.  As I counted my resentments, fears, and shameful incidents of human-abuse, I found every person on the face of the planet under my imaginary wrath.  Frustrated with my inability to be perfect, I tried to content myself with being better than anyone else, another exercise in futility that led to more frustration and a greater need to step on the throats of my fellow earthlings.  The “longing” I wanted fulfilled was not perfection, but connection!  When I realized that my futile anger was the very thing that was obstructing me from the relationship I feared I might not earn, I was able to turn from it and let God connect with me.  When I did, I finally came to understand that it is not because of my behavior that He loves me.  No amount or type of behavior will change that.  With this new relationship, I am free to lean back into the arms that always held me and rest secure.  That “longing fulfilled” is truly sweet to the soul!

Consequently, gratitude for that connection stirs me on to action, the way He intended it, with the horse pulling the cart rather than pushing it.

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 2 Chronicles 26:

It is said of Uzziah, Amaziah’s successor, “5 He sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear [or vision] of God. As long as he sought the LORD, God gave him success.”

15b His fame spread far and wide, for he was greatly helped until he became powerful. 16 But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God…”  He followed his pride into the forbidden place in the Temple and attempted to offer incense, a task reserved for the consecrated priests.  As a result of his insolence, he was struck with leprosy and died separate and excluded.

Oh Lord, my God, please rescue me from the bondage of self, from which You help me escape daily.  Your compassions are “new every morningA because You know that we need them.  Keep me from slipping into the pride that alienates me from You or elevates me in any way.  May my weakness reveal Your power, never my own.  Connection and inclusion with You is my desire!  Help me to “remain inB You, my connection, my sustenance, my provision, and my purpose.

(A from Lamentations 3:22-24; B from John 15:4-8)

From The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 75:

We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.”

3 John 2, “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” – OD@aT