I am abstinent by the grace of God, one more day at a time.  Today, I get the opportunity to share in fellowship and worship with my church!  I am eager to be there.

 

From Today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:

By trying to control others through manipulation and direct force, we had hurt loved ones.  When we tried to control ourselves, we wound up demoralized.  Even when we succeeded, it wasn’t enough to make us happy.”   The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p.5

My sponsor remarked upon hearing my Step Five that I, like him, was “a control freak with an inferiority complex.”  As I have thought of the incongruity of those terms, I am convicted by the futility of being a human perfectionist – an oxymoron the end result of which would always be frustration.  I didn’t wake up walking on water, and I have no reason to expect that I will by nightfall.

From Proverbs Chapter 22:

10 Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.

 

“The mocker” is a phrase that could be applied to my control-freak-with-inferiority-complex character defect.  I used to take pride in it.  At berating and criticizing I was tops.  I even mocked the mockers just to squash them under my superior mockery.  What a surprise that I was under the impression that the “lack of strife” for which I prayed was just a dream that couldn’t possibly come true.  Through the Steps, however, I am learning that “the mocker” can be driven out, and that strife does go with it.  Family members who used to rate a holiday gathering by how tolerable I was or wasn’t now get to enjoy the fellowship of the whole congregation without treading tenderly around unpredictable Unkie.

The need to be accepted, liked, or approved, at the cost of others is a defect.  Defects need not be flaunted.  I need to “Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive” and, as Johnny Mercer put it, “E-Lim-I-Nate the Negative.”  Then, the promises begin to come true: “Love and tolerance of others is our code. And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone…” (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 84.)

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 2 Chronicles 1:

This is the account (told also in 1 Kings 3) of God’s offer to Solomon for anything he wished, and Solomon’s answer, “10 Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people…”  God was pleased with his unselfish, service-oriented heart’s desire, and so granted his request, “12 therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you.  And I will also give you wealth, riches and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have.

God is apparently pleased with those whose heart’s desire is to serve selflessly. I have no need of wealth or honor, but I do covet God’s pleasure.  I wish to make Him happy, and He has shown me how: love one another, bless those who persecute me, master the sin that seeks to devour me, consider the Good Samaritan and “go and do likewise.”  (John 13:34, Matthew 5:44, Genesis 4:7, Luke 10:37)  I choose to be a tool suitable for service!

From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 77:

Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.

Have a blessed day (OD@aT)

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” (3 John 2)

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