Goodbye old year, and happy new day! (OD@aT)  I am abstinent and within my plan of eating today, by the grace of God! Click HERE for the details.

Yesterday did not go completely according to my four-meal plan of eating, but did adhere to the daily plan.  LiveStrong recently changed the mobile application I use to track my food intake, and my failure to use the app properly caused a miscalculation that, when discovered, required me to skip my metabolic adjustment “fourth meal.”  I ended the day right in line with my intake goals.   I visited friends last night, but made it home at a decent hour.  I drifted in and out, napping in a lazy fog most of my day yesterday, and ended it just as I spent most of it.  When fireworks rang out in the neighborhood, I startled awake and rejoiced that 2011 was over, then stumbled to bed to get some decent sleep.  2011 held some tough times, but overall, was the healthiest of my life so far.  I am grateful for yesterday and hopeful for today!

From Voices of Recovery:

The contributor to today’s entry tells a familiar story of self-deception and the false abstinence of one who still eats his/her binge foods, but only three times a day.  I remember deceiving myself with this thinking too.  It lined up with the programming I learned from the Warped Willingness diet I had been off and on so many times.  No wonder I was confused!  “Amazingly, when I gave up my binge foods, abstinence became easy.  The compulsion was lifted.  Miracles happen when we work the Steps honestly!”  God, please keep me honest with myself.  Help me to know where I still try to exercise control instead of submission, and to surrender my whole self to You.

From the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to today’s date:

Wisdom cries out in response to being rejected, “22How long will you simple ones love your simple ways?  How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?”  She then pronounces final judgment on that condition, “31they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.  32For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them.”  Holy Father, I hear an urgency in the voice of Wisdom, pleading with me to surrender the folly of seeking my way rather than Yours.  Help me to make You and Your discipline rule my life: all I do, all I say, and all whom I would help.  Help me to abstain from the fruits of my ways and schemes.

From my reading through the Bible, currently in 2 Kings 22:

Amon’s son, Josiah, succeeded him as king of Judah at the ripe old age of eight, but he was commended as one who “2did what was right in the eyes of the LORD and walked in all the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left.”  When he was thirty-six, he sent a representative to the temple to ensure that it was in order and good repair.  The high priest “found” the Book of the Law, and sent it back to the king.  I am not sure why it was missing, but that might explain a lot about the condition of Judah at that time.  When the king heard the words of the Law, he tore his robes in shameful disgust.  He sent for a prophetess to inquire of the Lord, saying, “13Great is the LORD’s anger that burns against us because our fathers have not obeyed the words of this book; they have not acted in accordance with all that is written there concerning us.”  Through the prophetess, God confirmed for King Josiah the wrath that would be poured out against this people and nation but, “19Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the LORD when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people…I have heard you, declares the LORD.  20Therefore I will gather you to your fathers, and you will be buried in peace.  Your eyes will not see all the disaster I am going to bring on this place.

Awareness can come through revelation, but if not followed by humility and action isn’t worth much.  Josiah did what he thought was right in repairing the temple, but was humbly submitted and willing to act on new revelations of what “right” was.  When the Law convicted him by bringing him knowledge of how far off the mark he and his kingdom truly was, he was humbled, not defiant or defensive, and sought the opinion of the Great Judge.  Sovereign Master, help me see, hear, and know where and how I may act in better alignment with Your will.  Continue to make me pliable enough to apply Your will to every aspect of my life.  Keep Your will fresh to me, and never let me neglect it, misplace it, shelve it, or hide it from myself; but keep it forefront for me, so I may constantly assess my alignment with it.

Comforting Father, grant me also a better knowledge of Your Way, so I might not so feverishly resist death as an appointment to be feared, but would understand and be able to share with others the blessing of death as deliverance from trouble and an opening to rest and rewards beyond.

From The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 36:

‘If I keep on turning my life and my will over to the care of Something or Somebody else, what will become of me?  I’ll look like the hole in the doughnut.’  This of course, is the process by which instinct and logic always seek to bolster egotism, and so frustrate spiritual development.  The trouble is that this kind of thinking takes no real account of the facts.  And the facts seem to be these:  The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are.  Therefore dependence, as A.A. practices it, is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit.

Have a blessed day and A HEALTHY NEW YEAR!  (OD@aT)