Today’s Voices of Recovery entry deals with the freeing nature of Step Five.  The irony is that, in wanting to avoid rejection, I isolated myself, which put me in the same solitary, lonely position that rejection from other people would cause.  The strange things our diseased minds justify are baffling when looking back on them in clarity.  The part of us that was hurt by our experiences must have been badly wounded to make backwards thinking like this reasonable.  Psalms 147:3 has been on my mind a lot lately, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  Thank You, God, for healing me when I come to You.  Help me remember to come to You first, instead of employing my silly coping techniques.

 

 

Proverbs 9:8 says, “Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.”  In fact, this verse is sandwiched by two that further expound this point.  (See Proverbs 9:7-9.)  I can see by the description of the two, much to my shame, that I bear more the characteristics of the mocker than the wise man.  The response of the mocker is insult, abuse, and hate; but the wise accept correction, respond in love, learning, and increased wisdom.  I would so rather be the latter!  But incidents such as the one with the olive-skinned stranger at the gym Monday prove to me that I have a long way to go.  Father of us all, bring me closer to Your ideal, as I continually submit to Your will and way for my life.

 

 

In 2 Samuel 9, David does not allow his contentment to make him complacent.  Verse 1 opens the chapter, “David asked, ‘Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?’  Back in 2 Samuel 4:4, there was a small note about one of Jonathan’s sons whose nurse fell in the frenzied hurry to escape.  The result was that the small boy of five, Mephibosheth, became crippled in both feet.  In today’s reading he is grown, with a boy of his own, but he is apparently living as a fugitive until this invitation of David inverse 7, “‘Don’t be afraid,’ David said to him, ‘for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan.  I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.’”  This speaks to my recent reference to the phrase, “Our Father.”  Looking back over chapter 8, I see some interesting action steps David took: In the course of time, David defeated his enemies (defects), he reclaimed the kingdom’s assets, he inventoried and dedicated the valuables to the Lord, by his actions he became honorable, he put garrisons (safeguards) where necessary, he reigned over all his kingdom in justice and righteousness.  Then, as chapter 9 begins, he sought someone to whom he could show kindness for the sake of the friend he loved.  Great God of Heaven and Earth, is there anyone to whom I can show kindness for the sake of You, the Friend I love and Father of us all?

 

 

God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.  Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick.  The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got.  See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others.  This is the Great Fact for us.”  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 164)

 

 

I was celebrating this morning the fact that the next red potato in the rotation of my pile of potatoes was a big one.  I was silly with enjoyment that I would have an abundance if only still in my “one potato.”  In the middle of preparing it, I was convicted.  When was abundance ever enough?  When have I ever been satisfied with more?  Has “plenty” ever been plenty?  The answer was no, never, not to my satisfaction.  I have never been content, no matter what I had.  So why do I celebrate the extra?  Why does part of me still crave the forbidden morsel? What part of me makes me want brownies though they will not contribute to my wellness or strength?  Rebellion?  Self-will?  Why does this part of me have to keep being put in its cage, “crucified daily” as it were?   I believe it is because I am made out of meat, and am, by nature, prone to rottenness.  This meat of my humanness or “flesh” has to be put in its place before I can assume my proper role as spiritual occupant of the vehicle.  The flesh is the vehicle, and as such, it has no business driving!  I choose to put my vehicle under my will, and my Higher Power over it where He belongs, in the driver’s seat.

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