Voices of Recovery (page 241, “August 28”) was what I read this morning, because I wasn’t thinking clearly when I started out today.  I know that it is October, but it’s too late now that I am typing to start over.  The entry for two months ago reads, “The faulty signals I receive about food – that it will make me feel better or fulfill my needs – are just that, faulty signals.  There is no real deprivation in abstaining from excess foods or foods that will harm me.  True deprivation is how I lived before OA – in bondage to food and fat.  I no longer have the sense of deprivation I feared when the term “abstinence” was explained to me.  My disease had me so afraid of abstaining that, in my original definition of my abstinence, I actually made an occasional allowance for cake!  Thank God I came to a better understanding and changed it before my birthday came around!  By then I had proved to myself that I didn’t need it.  The only thing “deprivation” represents is a fear that I might not survive without it.  Sugar and four can’t make me happy, healthy, wealthy, wise, or even handsome.  “There is no real deprivation in abstaining!”

 

There is a repeated theme in Proverbs Chapter 28 that describes the oppressive, wicked, tyrannical ruler and how the poor, helpless people are beaten down and overwhelmed by his abuse.  Every time I read one of those verses today, I considered how food, once ruler of my life, had always teased and mocked me by promising me feelings of love, warmth and acceptance, only to leave me lonely, misshapen, and immobilized by bad health.  The craving for food was a voice of my diseased mind and body programming that is addressed in verse 26, “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.  I cannot listen to the cravings of my flesh anymore.  They no longer have a say in what I eat, whether I exercise, or what I do.  God, please mute the voices that oppose Your will for me, and help me faithfully to follow only You.

 

In 1 Samuel 25, David met a wealthy but angry man, who returned David’s kindness with contempt.  As David and his fighting men prepared to attack the foolish man’s estate, the woman of the house, Abigail, rushed out to meet them with gifts and a clear demonstration of submission.  In verse 29, the blessed David, “Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound up securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God.  But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. All Abigail prayed came true, including a coma-inducing heart failure and subsequent death of her hateful husband, freeing her to later become David’s wife.  God, who ransomed me and betrothed me to be His own, I am pursued by a cunning and deadly disease.  Even so, I thank You for the knowledge that You have my life bound up securely in the bundle of the living.  Hurl away my defects as from the pocket of a sling, that I may be free to serve You as Abigail offered, “Here is your maidservant, ready to serve you and wash the feet of my master’s servants.” (verse 41)

 

It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!”  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 153)

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