Voices of Recovery today recalls the old Twelve Step adage, “There are none too dumb for this program, but plenty who are too smart.”  Since I am recovering from running the universe and dealing with the disappointment of it never going according to my plan, I am also new to the thought that I may not always be right.  It was shortly before I came into this program that my wife rejoiced upon first hearing me utter the words, “My way is not the only way.”  It was through the maturity of this understanding (the understanding was maturing, not me) that I became pliable and teachable enough to accept that something may be wrong with me, and that something was me.  Thank You, God, for teaching me that You are in control, and that since You are, there is no need for me to be.

This past Sunday, the preacher spoke of contentment, and it is amazing how many times this week God has continued to speak to me concerning this concept.  Proverbs 27:20 addresses it too, “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of man.”  I mentioned the prayer, “Give us, this day, our daily bread,” in an earlier post on the subject, but I can’t help to repeat it, this time with the emphasis on the word “our.”  Lord, You are my portion and my strength.  As You give me, this day, my daily sustenance and provision, let me be content with it, not wishing for more, and not withholding from others that portion which I could share.  Help me identify the portion I need and distinguish it from the portion you have entrusted me to steward into service of others.  Keep me forever focused on my mission to reflect Your love and light to all I meet.  Forbid that my own greed would cloud the mirror I am called to be.

In 1 Samuel 24, David, still fleeing from the murderous rage of the king, finds himself in the very same cave in which King Saul sought some privacy and rest.  In a demonstration of his devotion to the king, David cut away from Saul’s robe some evidence that he had been within striking distance, and later used it to show his lack of harmful intent.  In the reading of this passage, especially verse 19, I was reminded of the amends of Step Nine.  Saul answered David, “When a man finds his enemy, does he let him get away unharmed? May the LORD reward you well for the way you treated me today.” When we return to those who might expect, because of our history, to hold some grudge, and we treat them with honor and respect, turning away the resentment of the past with some mending action and sincere forgiveness, we open the door to healing.  Heavenly Father, forbid that I, by my action or inaction, should cause or allow my neighbor to be harmed.  

If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience.”  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 70)

I managed to get an extra-job today, so I will be in the sun helping many who don’t realize it.  I hope I remember that when it gets uncomfortable.  Today was going to be, out of necessity, my grocery shopping day.  Because this employment opportunity took priority, my packed lunch is missing a few of my routine staples, but it will do nicely, especially since I get to have dinner at home tonight for the first time in six days.   I am grateful for God’s provision.  It will always be enough!