Voices of Recovery today quotes For Today, page 356, “The more I practice being ‘like a child,’ especially when I take Steps Three and Eleven, the more my spirit is seized with an untamed joy demanding expression.”  The child-like exuberance the author hints at, for me accompanies the child-like faith that becomes easier for me the more watchful I am regarding God’s providence for my needs.  Each time I surrender to Him and He sees me through, it adds joy to my life and makes trust easier the next time.

 

Proverbs 9:12 says, “If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.”  I think about how this disease, rooted in self-centeredness, used to make me pout and stew, brooding in hate of self and others, until even my family despised and avoided me.  They left me alone for their own protection, but that loneliness was mine to suffer alone until this program rescued me.  Yesterday, my son visited me on his own and we had a pleasant, affirming exchange.  My daughter calls me daily if not more, and my siblings no longer want me dead.  I am grateful that God picked me up out of my mockery and set me on a path toward His wisdom.

 

 

In 1 Samuel 4, Israel suffered a great defeat at the hands of the Philistines, who carried off the Ark of the Covenant and slaughtered 34,000, including Eli’s wicked sons.  When the news got back to Eli, he “fell backward off his chair by the side of the gate.  His neck was broken and he died, for he was an old man and heavy.” (verse 18)  I can’t help but think of the long-term effects of living an indulgent lifestyle.  Eli tolerated his sons, whose primary sins were self-indulgent: sleeping with prostitutes and disregarding God in measuring out their portions of sacrificial offerings so they got more food than was their intended portion.  (See 1 Samuel 2:12-17.)  Eli apparently profited from their greed, because a priest shouldn’t have gotten “heavy” on the regular portions afforded by the Law of Moses.  We compulsive overeaters do tend to over-indulge our children even when we find the ability to control ourselves.  Eli’s life is proof to me that the amends I live have to include amends to the Creator, whose universe I have polluted with the ripple effect of my behavior.  I don’t want any of my actions or inactions to leave my descending generations with residual curses.  None of my offspring or neighbors should ever have to say on account of me, “The glory has departed from Israel, for the Ark of God has been captured.” (verse 22)

 

 

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.  When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.  We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.  Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.  Love and tolerance of others is our code.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 84)

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