For days like today when I cannot quote the entire entry of Voices of Recovery, I hope that all my fellows have their own copy.  Today, it read in part, “I have learned to trust God to take care of me and to take care of my compulsive overeating.  One day at a time, He proves His strength and power and love by relieving the obsession with food.  Bit by bit, I turn over my will and my life…  As the trust builds, I experience increasing peace…  With the trust comes another day of freedom…”

 

Proverbs 5 is a passionate and graphic warning against adultery, but it speaks to me about the war in myself between what I know and what I want or feel like.  Verses 11 and 12 sound like me before I learned to practice submission, “At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. You will say, ‘How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!’”  God, keep me willing, and help me overcome my unwillingness.  Keep me submitted, and help me overcome my self-assertion.  Your will, not mine, be done!

 

In Ruth Chapter Two, Ruth met Naomi’s relative, Boaz, “a man of standing” (verse 1).  He took notice of her and allowed for her to glean what she could behind his harvesters.  Ruth was a foreigner, a widow, by all other accounts a social reject.  But this wealthy provider accepted her, made provision for her, protected her as his own.  This certainly seems to closely parallel what the Great Provider would later do for some other social rejects, including me!  Ruth’s statement to Boaz in verse 13 is my prayer for today: “May I continue to find favor in your eyes, my lord… You have given me comfort and have spoken kindly to your servant – though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls.”

 

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.  They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic (compulsive overeater) is an example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.  Above everything we alcoholics (compulsive overeaters) must be rid of selfishness.  We must or it kills us!  God makes that possible.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62, emphasis mine)

 

Today I start in my new job assignment, back in an entry-level position, where I began in 1991.  I will be working late shifts and long hours, with long spells of days off and lots of high-stress crisis management in between.  I am trusting God with this.  He will keep me safe, sane and abstinent.  All I have to do is keep my focus on Him.   I am making changes today to the timing of my meals due to a new shift assignment, but the rest of my plan of eating remains the same.

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