Voices of Recovery today quoted page 278 of For Today, “I cannot expect the difficulties in my life to be erased because I wish it.”  I believe a whopping portion of my disease of compulsive overeating comes from my overwhelming obsession with having my own way. This warped plane of thinking wobbles with fear on selfish expectations and repeated disappointment until despair clouds any choices but to medicate the pain or die.  The only real way to alleviate this problem is to trace it back to the seed of expectation and violently blast it away with the simple truth that I do not live at the center of the universe.  My way is not only not the only way, but it has proven harmful to me and so many others so many times that I dare not follow it ever again.  The VOR contributor sums up nicely, “Today, I no longer just wish for relief from life’s problems.  Thanks to my Higher Power and my program, I face life’s difficulties secure in the knowledge that I am carrying out God’s plan for my life.”

 

Proverbs 2:12-13 reads, “Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways…”  Forbid it, Lord, that I should walk anywhere but in Your steps.  Help me to lean only on You and follow Your truth.  Lord, You are my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?  You are the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?  Teach me Your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressive disease.  I am confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  (Reference Psalms 27, emphasis on verses 1, 11 and 13)

 

Judges 19 and 20 tell a story of a rape and murder that started a war.  Interestingly, Israel asked God if they should attack their brother tribe, Benjamin, for their failure to give up the perpetrators, and each time God answered, “Yes.”  The first two of three ensuing battles, however, resulted in terrifying casualties on Israel’s side.  Each time, they returned to the temple of God, asking what to do, and each time, God affirmed their decision to war against the evil done and protected by the tribe of Benjamin in the town of Gibeah.  It was only on the third occasion that God also promised them victory.  This reminds me that, sometimes God will have me fight battles I will not win.  His purposes will be served, but the outcomes all belong to Him.  This is true in my disease too.  I can feel beaten down, whooped up, trampled over, and squashed, but God’s victory will come in His timing.  My end result will be His workmanship, not mine.

 

Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.  It meant destruction of self-centeredness.  I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.”  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 14)

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