I made a breakthrough today. I did a more in-depth 10th step than usual to root out the cause of this bitter poison I’ve been carrying around. I identified it, it’s precipitating event, and four entities (3 individuals and 1 institution) I have harmed as a result. I started my day with an apology and closed my workday with the major one. It was amazingly freeing! It turns out, I was the only one carrying any hard feelings, and they were ALL imaginary. The person who I had resented didn’t even realize what I percevied had happened, and was all too eager to forgive me for my impatience ever since. I must tell you, I felt 100 pounds lighter after the 15-20 minutes it took to unload that baggage.

 

I am very eager to go on my vacation with my daughter, and to also spend a couple days with my brother. These are two of my closest relationships and are two of the people I have harmed most in my life over emotional issues. It will be nice to get away and have some fun. I am slightly anxious about the alteration of my food plan. I won’t have some of the staples I rely on, and will have to substitute and eat out from time to time. But I plan to rely on my calorie limits, and eat as varied food sources as I can under the circumstances. I have packed a lot of canned substitutes for what I normally pack fresh. It should be fine. I know that, as always, my Higher Power will provide the means to make it through.

 

I will be out of touch except by phone the next few days, so I will be laying the writing tool down for the weekend, but I look forward to writing to make up for it when I get back.

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