I am a recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †
From today’s entry in Voices of Recovery:
“I thank God for my abstinence and my recovery. I ask for help with my abstinence in the day ahead. I offer my service. I acknowledge the previous day’s failings and ask to be shown how to do better. I offer the day ahead to the service of God. I pray for friends in and out of OA. From the time I started this simple daily routine my recovery stopped plodding forward— it sprang forward.”
God does not seem to be interested in my morbid reflections of self-pity and doubt. I have proved that He is not interested in my wheeler-dealings of “if You then I’ll…” promises. What He seems to bless is total release of my humanity. Whatever illusions I had I relinquish. Whatever selfish worries I dreamed up I toss to their flip side and pray out of loving care for others. The best way to start my day is with a turnover. I’m turning over all my everything to God!
From Proverbs 11:
“19 The truly righteous man attains life,
but he who pursues evil goes to his death.”
I was thinking about how the facilitating of miracles in the name of Jesus is not proof of life within, as I read in Matthew 7:22-23, and how there are those who claim spiritual cleanness that is counterfeit. Such are more miserable than they who had never known the truth. The deciding difference, according to Matthew’s account of Jesus’ words, is “knowledge.” The ones told to depart are the ones He never “knew.” Today, I seek to know God and be known by Him, to establish a spiritual intimacy that comes when I turn from selfish pursuits and to Him, because He has already closed the distance.
From my reading through the Bible, currently in Matthew 19:
I have given this chapter a lot of study over the years, especially the section on divorce, having come through one myself and having met others on whom the dark despair of divorce had settled. One thing is different at this reading: my perspective. I noticed something related less to divorce than to the nature of our realities. God intended perfection but made concessions for the evil heart of man, and our current state is a result of the whittling away of God’s design. This is as likely true for other things as it is here for divorce.
“8 Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.’”
I wonder in what other ways have I been living in the compromise of tradition that sprang from selfishness. How can I get closer to God’s original intent for me?
Precious Holy Spirit, reveal, revive and restore, in Jesus’ name.
“20 ‘All these [commandments] I have kept,’ the young man said. ‘What do I still lack?’”
I can relate to this man’s desire for more. Is there a next-level of intimacy with God? Can there be more exchange of fulfilling joy? “What do I still lack?”
“28 Jesus said to them, ‘I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother[f] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.’”
Those who prize their prizes will be stripped and those who strip themselves in preference for Christ, will be prized.
From the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 13:
“I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch.”
*Abstinence began for me on May 11th, 2010.
† For the sake of accountability, the details of my eating are posted in my online food log.